


The Dragon Emperor and the Girl Who Loves Dolls

by savagelee



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: AU, Child Abuse, Gen, Half-Siblings, Sister-Sister Relationship, The Search
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-30
Updated: 2013-08-10
Packaged: 2017-12-21 20:21:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/904488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/savagelee/pseuds/savagelee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU, spoilers from “The Search, pt. 2.” This is only a theory that has not been confirmed. Here, we have a string of vignettes about a strange relationship. Kiyi always wanted a bigger family, and she got her wish. With that, Azula now gets to display her top-notch sisterly skills and her touching way of dealing with children.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part One

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Fire_Lord_Azula](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fire_Lord_Azula/gifts).



> Anyway, my theory is that the couple the Gaang meets in the second part of “The Search” is Ikem (now known as “Noren”) and Ursa (with faces changes and all that jazz), and their daughter, Kiyi, is Zuko and Azula's half-sister. Kiyi isn't an OC.
> 
> In this AU, the Gaang learns the husband and wife’s true identities after speaking to the Mother of All Faces. I'm assuming that both Ikem and Ursa have a bit of amnesia about their former identities (the location is called Forgetful Valley, after all), but they eventually came to terms with the revelation, and their old memories begin returning. 
> 
> Also, Ozai is Zuko's biological father in this. And Azula is rather unhappy with wearing pink! No more! (I have nothing against the color, but it’s just not Azula.)
> 
> Rating: I don’t know. This fic is pretty tame compared to my . . . past endeavors, but there are references and instances of abuse. It isn’t graphic, but I do think that it is harsh in terms of the emotional damage inflicted.
> 
> Pairings: None besides the canon ones, which are hardly ever mentioned.

[Rest]

Azula hates children. Even when she was a child, she hated children. Zuko's insipid whining (not that much has changed in that regard) did not help matters. Azula had despised being a child because, yes, Father did allow her an exorbitant amount of freedom, but she hadn't gained the ability to rule. She still had to follow rules of etiquette and maintain herself under her father's steady eye. She had not been independent yet. Far from it. Her “playmates” at the academy had been stupid little mites, jabbering about topics of no import to Azula such as companionship and marriage.

And, though Azula does not believe in a “beautiful destiny” (unless it involves burning down the Earth Kingdom or ruling over the world – only burn half the world though, so you won’t have to rule over complete ashes) or the spirits, it sometimes seems as if there's an invisible force trying to keep her chained. Strange, since there is also a mandate that she has inherited the right to rule over those lesser than her (read: everyone). 

A few hours ago, at the “reunion” (implying the royal family had once been united) dinner, she was in a lively home. Azula stuck her nose up and refrained from speaking beyond the occasional jab – just enough to ruffle Zuko as he glowered indignantly at her. He then shook his head or attempted to patronize her with kind words. Every single person besides Azula seemed content or rejuvenated. There was babbling and smiling and hugging and kissing all around her, and it made her want to burn something and watch it crumble to ashes. Preferably Zuko, or the Avatar, or the waterbender, or that repulsive little urchin with her doll. Well, everyone. Everyone was a good start.

-

In the forest, Azula cannot sleep. She registers every movement in the shadows, her eyes flickering toward every faint sound. Her back is to a tree, legs crossed and hands clenching the fabric of her pants. Across from her, the other traveler is curled into a quivering ball. If Azula had been laying down, she would have rolled on her other side.

They cannot stay still for long. Soon, they’ll continue forward. 

Yes, she hates children – especially this child who played with her dolls and blinked brightly, peering on and clapping at Zuzu’s every word. Oh, how unlike Ozai _he_ is. Not a cold memory of threats and bruises on the wrist. As a child, Azula would mentally goad her mother for being so idiotic when she confronted Ozai, as if Ursa was asking to be abused. A part of Azula tells herself that she often denigrates her mother for being too docile – too submissive – and then turns around and berates her for speaking her mind. If her mother had been a complete imbecile, she’d be dead. One had to maneuver carefully when their lives were usurped by matters of the throne. If anything . . . Ursa had been both perceptive with an admirable dose of courage. But Azula won’t think of it any longer. She cannot.

Her father is not perfect, of course. If he were, he wouldn't have rejected Azula when she was by far the most competent strategist he had. She had dismantled the Earth Kingdom in a bloodless coup. Though he had possessed the nation's best interests and was by no means a soft-hearted fool like her brother, it serves him right to be where he is.

When Azula was at the dinner, she curtailed many of her biting remarks. She reminded herself that this was all a misguided attempt to “save” her by stripping her of who she was.

If Zuko is to be believed, the fool that she is, Ursa still has an Avatar's blood inside of her. To an extent, Ursa and that other peasant’s daughter had that lineage, as weak as the link was. Azula’s blood had been paved with fire. (Zuko was a failed start.)

A vague plan formed in her mind as she sat at the table, not touching her food. It was asinine and had a slim chance of working. There was a heavy amount of risk to the point of it being nonsensical, and Azula did not like being stupidly reckless like some people in the general vicinity she could name. She was precise and certain in her strikes, though many of her past plans took a great deal of initiative and, well, risk. She was unaccustomed to failure though.

She lowers her head in contempt and looks at her half-sister with narrowed eyes. _She isn't even half of what I am. I'll change that. I'll crush everything that she is._

-

“Get _up_.” She stands over the child imperiously. Her voice has a stern edge, something like steel. The girl whimpers and stirs. Azula watches impassionately.

_If Ursa truly is nothing but weakness, then what are you? Azula asks herself doubtfully. Even if you hardly resemble her, she is still part of your heritage._

_She’s inside me. No matter what, no matter how far I run, she's here. And now, she’s here twice._ It sounds like a concession, and Azula can’t stand it.

(All she has ever wanted is the throne – and, for a moment, she nearly had it again. She had it and her mother under her burning palms. Azula had once relished the feeling of the cold, golden arms of the Earth Kingdom throne. She still dreams of it at times and wakes up with a bitter, metallic taste in her mouth.)

_You did everything right. They were all the fools._

_(But you miscalculated.)_

_No, they can’t possibly fathom what I think – except her. Mother. She always saw right through me._

-

[No Way Out]

Zuko spoke about family, dignity, healing. Love. He did it in that condescending, infantilizing way, even when he was more of a child than Azula ever was. She hadn’t even been allowed to relieve herself without supervision in the institution, and poor, honorable Firelord Zuko was apparently the one to be pitied for deciding not to keep her caged like an animal. 

The obnoxious little mite – now known as her half-sister – was clapping excitedly as the Avatar did some banal trick involving his airbending skills and a napkin. Azula curled her lips in disdain. He was the most powerful being in the world, and he wasted time playing with children.

This –Kiyi – is Ursa's perfect daughter. The non-prodigy who just arranges dolls and spouts nonsense. No wonder this child gravitates toward Zuko.

_(It’s taken this child an eighth of my efforts to conquer the Earth Kingdom to conquer your heart, Mother.)_

Ah yes, Azula could kill Zuko. However, as appealing as that thought is, Azula imagines that the Avatar won't find the charred corpse and determine that it was just as tragic accident; no doubt he would be mildly hesitant to embrace the claims of a random lightning strike.

Ursa and Noren-Ikem had gone to Forgetful Valley and were slowly recollecting everything. When the truth came out about this couple’s identity, the woman who was truly Ursa hugged both Zuko and Azula, and Azula had stiffened and refused to respond in any form. _You'll see me as a monster. You've already found a new daughter to dress up like a pristine, vapid doll._

Ursa had always seen Azula for who she was. Regrettably, her mother was perceptive. She'd discover the truth eventually. She and Zuko would conspire to lock her back into that institution.

When Azula set her plan into action, as everyone else slept, she had to let her hair fall loose. Perhaps she’d tie it up in another, less obtrusive style later, but she had to be quick. She sneaked into the couple’s bedroom and rifled through the wardrobe. She’d be far more willing to wear the man’s muted clothes than the feminine garments. (I suppose some things never change, Azula thought sourly.) Sadly, or perhaps fortunately, these mundane items were far more favorable than the clothes her buffoon of a brother had secured for her, the attire Zuko had believed she would “like.” She moved through without sparing a glance to either of the occupants of the bed.

As silent as a wraith, she retrieved food and other supplies. She even took the Water Tribe peasant girl’s thermos to store with water. Stealing. Just like a beggar, she thought distastefully. This was a regretful means to an end – not because of any guilt, no. In fact, the comforting thought of killing everyone under this roof never abated. Rather, going into the world with nothing would be disastrous. As much as Azula loathed to admit it, no matter how superior she was to others, she had to eat and drink. She was only human – a better, more capable specimen, but still a human nonetheless.

-

[An Adventure]

The dinner a few hours ago had been wonderful, a flurry of colors and talking. She was excited to not have just one sibling, but a brother and a sister. She'd been begging her mom and dad for a little sister ever since her fifth birthday. _I'll give her all my dolls, please? Please?_

 _Even little Kiyi?_ her mom had asked with a gentle smile, setting her small daughter on her lap. Mom had laughed and said, _I'll think about it. Maybe the pelican-stork will come by soon._

And then here they are. (Must’ve been a big pelican-stork.) Kiyi had asked Zuko if they would stay, and if her big sister would ever like her.

-

In the night, after everyone else had gone to bed, Kiyi’s new big sister asked her to go on an adventure, saying that Kiyi’s parents approved. Azula smiled coldly and said that she was only joking about her past comments, and Kiyi was happy that she might have two siblings to love her instead of just one. She’d always wanted a large family, and her big sister was just . . . she could make blue flames, and that was new. Cool. There weren't many benders in the village.

She’d been told to be quiet, to be considerate and not wake anyone up. After she put her share of clothes in the bag, the girl said, “I need to bring Kiyi!”

-

[Sisterly Bonding]

_She hates me. What did I do wrong?_

Kiyi has to carry the supplies. The bag begins to feel like a boulder. Kiyi doesn't complain when the bottom of her feet start to blister. it doesn’t take long until Azula’s frigid enmity begins to sting. Azula does not ask if her little sister is hungry or tired, and Kiyi is afraid that she’ll simply drop and be forgotten. Or maybe being lost and forgotten is preferable to this.

Back at home, Kiyi told Azula that she was pretty, and her big sister's mouth had gone straight. That seemed to mark the beginning of the end of their thirty-minute amicable relationship.

Azula promised adventure. Maybe, after awhile, she'll finally like Kiyi, and that soon they'll all be together as a happy family.

_If Mom and Dad said it was okay . . ._


	2. Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Azula and Kiyi happily play with a doll and there's one casualty.

[The Doll Named Kiyi]

Azula shrewdly ponders about how her mother is a hypocrite. She and Ozai never formally split, so she has committed treason and has had an illegitimate daughter, and Azula has taken it upon herself to teach that child.

Azula supposes it wouldn't do to have the child die; it defeats the entire purpose of stealing her away, after all. She can’t teach a corpse. However, the girl tests her patience enough to make Azula reconsider.

As they walk, the girl say cheerfully, “Hey, ’zula.”

“Azula,” the firebender corrects. “My name really isn’t that difficult. Or you could call me master, or Firelord. I’m partial to ‘Firelord Azula’ a good part of the time. Would you prefer if I called you Kiya or Kiwi?”

“It’s Kiyi. What about ‘Azzie’?” Kiyi suggests.

“Call me that again, and you'll be lucky if you don’t resemble one of my old dolls.” Azula continues briskly, “It's no matter. You're going to have a new name, and so will I. My name is far too – ” Infamous? “ – prestigious. It would be too recognizable amongst simple peasant names. 

“Interestingly enough,” Azula says, “none of those peasants in your little town knew who my brother and I were. He had his scar and I was wearing something obviously Fire Nation – albeit the colors looked like something one of those idiot former followers would wear. Zuko picked it out; perhaps he should have worn it as well.” _I suppose I can't blame ignorant buffoons for not recognizing their betters. It still warrants punishment, of course._

With their altered appearances, they can easily disappear in the Fire Nation colonies of the Earth Kingdom. Nobody would think twice about a young woman and her sister going around without any parents to tend to them. The war is over, but that will never resolve violence and the premature loss of guardians. 

Azula is nearly of marrying age – though she’d rather be in a straitjacket and listen to Zuko speak about love, goodness, and honor, honor, honor before doing any sort of a thing. However, that general norm meant that those her age, both girls and boys, adapted to many responsibilities, and a teenager caring for her sister was not unusual, especially in an age of war orphans left to fend for themselves.

“What did you name it again?” Azula asks, referring to the doll.

“Kiyi.”

“And that’s your name, isn’t it?”

Self-assured, Kiyi says, “It’s such a great name.”

“Hm.”

It reminds Azula of Iroh’s dismissive gift when she was a child. _Yes, let’s give Zuko the irreplaceable war artifact and – oh, pick up a doll for Azula along the way._

Azula stops walking, and Kiyi nearly runs into her. The firebender turns. “What do you do with it? It’s a useless toy.”

Kiyi says, “I make little families with her and the other ones.” Azula scoffs. “Yeah, and she's a _girl_ , not an it.” The girl wrinkles her nose. “She's not as pretty as I thought she'd be. I tried really hard to make her look nice.”

“Oh?” Azula’s crosses her arms, her gaze imperceptible. “Give me that.” Reluctantly, Kiyi gives Azula the doll.

_Pretty._ Such an empty word. _Oh Azula, you want to look pretty, don’t you?_ Azula never cared for such a vapid concern. She wanted to be presentable, yes, but she did not care for “pretty” things. _Why can’t you be more like your schoolmates at the academy?_ No, Ursa never said that, but Azula knew. She tightens her grip on the doll, her hand growing warm.

Ursa would touch her cheek, and Azula would get so appalled by the touch. She was a prodigy, she was dangerous, and her mother thought she needed to be caressed and coddled like – like _Zuko_. Azula examines Kiyi’s doll and smiles.

“You know, I wasn't just trying to scare you when I talked about making revisions on all the dolls I received. I mastered a special technique when I was four. Mother never seemed to appreciate it.” Azula holds it up in the moonlight to make sure that her sister sees. There’s a flash of blue, and Azula severs the doll’s neck. Its head plops on the ground. “There, I think she looks much better, don't you?”

Kiyi's eyes widen in shock and pain, and they grow watery. Really, Azula's actions are quite supportive and should be lauded. See, it's all a way to strengthen Kiyi and make her see the error of her rosy world view. The world isn't a dream, and this simple child won't be spared for being an “innocent.” Then again, since the child is sniffling like a drowning turtleduck (which is an image that would have amused Azula if the current situation hadn't agitated her so profusely), so the strengthening hasn't had an immediate effect, apparently.

Azula casually drops the remains onto the grass, satisfied. 

She remembers Ursa reprimanding her for – of all things – tormenting the flowers. Her mom had caught her the first time because of some strange sense she had. The only excuse Azula could think of on the spot was some drivel about the aesthetics of the flowers – as if Azula, the (then aspiring, now most certainly) best firebender in the entire world, would ever care about their _prettiness_. Azula channeled all of the giggling fools and imps she’d had to endure for decorum’s sake, back when she had little choice in who she associated with. She found ways to ensure that she had the maximum freedom for her age (after all, if the right to rule was a mandate given to her, her age should have meant little), but she often had to rely on her father’s influence then.

And Ursa, more intuitive than Azula often cared to admit as a small child, saw immediately through the ruse. As she always had.

When Ursa left forever, Azula burned away an entire bush and calmly watched the embers fly. _Aren't they “pretty” now, Mom?_ Her father had been feeding the turtleducks, and he hadn’t said a word.

Azula is then reminded of a similar instance when Ozai and Ursa had fought and spoke about weakness and frailty when Ursa caught Azula throwing bread at a baby turtleduck and Azula had attempted a similar tactic. _“Mom, that turtleduck was ugly!”_

_“Azula, not even your father would do such a cruel thing. You know how he hates the turtleducks.”_ It was a compliment to be worse than her father – though Azula had thought Ursa was lucky to be married to someone like her father. The thought of marrying anyone herself made Azula ill, but Ursa had a powerful husband and two – well, one powerful child, at least.

“Where did you get it?” Azula asks conversationally as they stand in the forest.

Kiyi’s shoulders slump, and she sniffs back a wad of mucus. “M-Mom gave her to me.”

“Why?”

“B-Because she loves me.”

Azula laughs. “If you say so.” _What would've happened when she grew tired of your prattling, when she went to that valley and got a new face?_

“What’s that mean?” Kiyi asks, and there’s a flash of anger to briefly replace the sadness.

“Well, enough entertainment. We’d best keep going.”

Kiyi crouches down and tearfully picks up her doll’s body. Instead of immediately getting up, the girl stays there and cradles it. Azula had trained from dawn ‘til dusk, and this child is broken because of . . . this? Zuko invades her mind, speaking about dignity. _Dignity? You left me to rot, not even allowed to move on my own. I had no control. Powerless. Never again._

“What are you whimpering about?” Azula asks the pathetic child with a sneer. “If you aren't bleeding out and none of your bones are broken, then I suggest that you save it for something more pressing.” Azula adds coolly, “You're lucky I didn't burn down that miserable little shack of a home and every traitor and simpleton inside it.” As the child continues to wallow in the wet grass, Azula starts to lose her patience. “Why are you letting yourself sit in the dirt? Stand up! You don’t need a doll. You won’t win battles by showing your enemies a silly toy.” _She’s lucky I didn’t burn the entire thing._

The girl obeys, still clutching the doll and not meeting Azula’s eyes. _She’ll thank me one day for lifting her up from this._


	3. Part Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No children were harmed in the making of this heartwarming tale. Well, all right, one might've been a bit battered and psychologically scarred for life.

[The Game]

Kiyi decides that she doesn’t care what her parents want and tries to separate herself from Azula. Alright, maybe it isn’t such a cohesive plan. Maybe she’s just tired and distressed. She stops walking and sits down, setting the supply bag down quietly. She hopes that Azula will keep going and not nag her. Kiyi stays beneath a tree, covered by some foliage, and weeps, tucking her doll’s chest under her cheek.

The peace does not last long before Azula almost immediately notices the silence behind her, the ceasing of footsteps. Swiftly pivoting, Azula walks up to Kiyi and effortlessly picks the child up with one hand. Her grip tightens on the girl’s collar, and she presses Kiyi against a tree.

Azula says calmly, her eyebrows raising slightly, “Go ahead and give up. If you die, then I’ll get far more rest at night.”

Her vision blurry, Kiyi tries to knock Azula back with her feet and fails. “Let me go!”

Ignoring her plea, Azula says, “You think someone is going to come and dry your tears because life isn’t treating you fairly? When you live in a world where poor men and charlatans try to steal your power, you have a responsibility to continue climbing. You either win or you die.” Azula leans in until their noses nearly touch. Wisps of Azula’s hair brush Kiyi’s forehead. Her fingers slide up and dig into the girl’s neck. “There’s nothing inbetween. There’s no room _inbetween_ for sopping little parasites.” With that, Azula drops Kiyi like she’s a mere sack. The young girl grunts. “I’m doing this for your own good, but make no mistake: if you become a nuisance, I have more than one way of gladly disposing of you.”

Kiyi rubs the skin where Azula had grabbed her. Before her big sister walks away, Azula turns her head and says, “Pick up the bag. I suggest you keep up. And don’t try this again.”

-

[Common Blood]

_Why the Avatar never stole my bending, I’ll never understand. His oversight is appreciated, however._

They are close to the colonies. They stay mostly isolated, only coming near the road for potential goods. Azula makes Kiyi pilfer. Neither of them can scavenge for herbs with efficiency, though Azula is not idiotic to consume an unidentified, poisonous plant (unlike some fuddy duddy tea-consumers she can name). However, the girl seems to know some basic herbalism, stating that her mom had once taken her out into the wilderness and taught her to identify some of the flora there.

They’ve been running low on supplies, and Kiyi is thirsty. She drinks from a stream. Her big sister makes jabs at her, saying that Kiyi seems to have no issue with acting like a peasant, just barely above a rodent. (Azula has to drink from the creeks and streams too, but she never does it when Kiyi is awake.)

Kiyi asks if Azula will replace her ruined doll, and her big sister does not speak. Instead, she comes and yanks Kiyi up by the collar of her shirt. Kiyi pulls away and stubbornly remains sitting, though she faces her big sister now.

“Get up,” Azula demands. When Kiyi just glares at her, Azula lights the nearby bush. Out of fear, Kiyi complies. A smirk finds its way to Azula’s features.

Despite her triumph, Azula has dark circles under her eyes. She debates on how she’ll teach the child how to fight. The child has a major disadvantage, but Azula knows certain specializations a nonbender can have to incapacitate even the strongest benders. (At the thought of those two traitors, a simmering hatred sinks in, and Azula has to remind herself that she is the cold fire, the blue dragon. To be fair, Azula always knew Ty Lee was a gullible little idiot with no reason and Mai was always too cheeky for her own good. They were useful, reliable tools, and then they were gone.)

_Of course, given your handicap as a nonbender, you have to find other means of protecting yourself. You are far from helpless if you can wrap your dull little mind around it._

-

They arrive to their final destination as it bustles with a flurry of afternoon activities. Kiyi does not know how long they’ve been traveling. Their clothes feel threadbare, and Kiyi has had to wash them several times over.

And they are still homeless and desperate. However, Azula thinks of a way to circumvent that as they go through the crowd unnoticed. She says, “We can’t starve, and we need shelter. I can see right through your guise; you’re the helpless, pitiful little child, and you’re used to having others do your grunt work. But you don’t have to be – you don’t have to rely on others.”

“I rely on you,” the child says dully.

“I’m showing you the world as it truly is. If you let them, the people of this world, they’ll leave you on the streets to rot. They’ll do whatever they can to ream you dry and discard you. And what are you going to do, let them because you don’t want to be ‘mean’?” Kiyi has to keep close to her sister to avoid the pushing and chaos of the crowd. Azula is like the eye of the storm.

They come across a large building, and Azula can read the sign clearly. _The Beifong Metalbending Academy._

“What’s this?” Kiyi asks innocently enough, and Azula is admittedly quite pleased with herself.

“Do you know who the Beifongs are? I doubt it, since most peasants don’t even have basic knowledge, such as how to speak properly, how to write, how to read . . .”

Kiyi wants to stomp her foot and pout, but she raises her chin and protests, “I can _read_!” Granted, it isn’t much beyond that _See the Cow-Pig Run_ picture book, but it’s something.

Azula explains, “They’re one of the wealthiest families in the Earth Kingdom. Their mark is a pig with wings.” _Such a fitting emblem for swine._ “I want you to be a good little sad, bereft street urchin and get us a house.”

Kiyi blinks. “W-What?”

“Your parents – oh, be creative. You’re orphaned and need monetary assistance.” Kiyi stares at her blankly. Exasperated, Azula clarifies, “You need _money_. Play on their perceptions of the world. A firebender killed your mother and father, and you need money for a home for your remaining family.” Azula laughs to herself. “It’s always the firebender, isn’t it? If she could see, the headless doll would be a nice touch. Toph Beifong is the blind, loud-mouthed girl, probably without footwear. You beg her, tell her that you need a good deal of money to get by, and I’m sure she’ll be generous enough to provide.”

The name sounds familiar to Kiyi, though just barely. How many blind, teenage earthbenders who teach others how to bend metal are there in the world, really?

“Oh, and she can tell if you lie, so please don’t spare the tears.” Of course, Azula can outwit that earthbender’s special technique; there has only been one person who ever saw through Azula. Yes, Mother always had a hidden way of detecting Azula’s falsehoods. Ursa had to find a way to determine how to tread perilous waters. If she didn’t, those closest to her could have easily been razed at Firelord Azulon’s command and the brainwashed cretins’ blood would be on her hands. 

Azula and Ursa have little in common besides blood, the firebender has always told herself, but there are discrepancies that only serve to frustrate her. However, no matter what, Azula looks like Ozai. Though she gained her expert firebending from being born of the combined bloodline of an Avatar and a Firelord, so had Zuko. He had been Ursa’s pet, and, no matter his station, he was inferior.

Kiyi watches Azula and gauges how to respond, how she believes Azula will want her to act in order to keep things mildly normal. There comes a time when Kiyi knows in her heart that her mom and dad would never allow this. She decides to only notify Azula when she believes it can be used as a threat. 

(So far, Kiyi’s attempts to scare Azula and rattle her resolve are going as well as she thought they would.)

Kiyi gulps, her heart speeding up like a rabbit’s. _Lying is wrong._ The voice sounds like their mother’s. Azula leans down and says, “Oh, and if you even think of trying to run back to your parents, look at all of these people around you. I’ll kill them. I’ll burn them, and they will fall to their knees. Their last words will be them thanking you for their fate. That, or they’ll be too busy screaming.”

“You’ll – You’ll go to jail.”

Azula laughs. “My brother tried to keep me frail and powerless, but I was never – I outmaneuvered every step. Even when I thought I saw _her_.”

Kiyi takes a moment to register who her sister is talking about. “You saw Mom?” Instead of snapping at her, Azula straightens her back and lifts her nose. Realizing that topic is off-limits, Kiyi says, “I can’t just get a house.” The small girl looks at her hands and flexes them. She imagines picking up the entire foundation and setting it on top of Azula. Kiyi wants to laugh, but doesn’t dare.

“If you want a roof over your head, you’ll do this. I surely can’t stroll in there.” Azula smiles humorously. “Granted, my disguise would be wasted on someone so – visually impaired, but she would still recognize my voice.”

 _I don’t just throw fire at my enemies. To get what you want, you have to take it. You can’t wait._ She had grabbed the girl’s collar more than once. Kiyi had once called her blue fire “pretty,” and Azula had nearly taken her head off as well. It wasn’t as if it’d been used for anything. _“Is that what bending is to you – a trick?”_

Without any more protesting, Kiyi goes to enter the metalbending academy, not daring to look back at her big sister.


	4. Part Four

[Big Sister]

They have a house now. The blind earthbender gave her money after Kiyi cried about her and her big sister living cold and hunger after a firebender killed their parents in a robbery. One of the metalbending trainees remarked that such a tragedy was strangely a common occurrence, but hopefully it would fade since the war is over.

Kiyi had left with the story of her dead parents and a big sister struggling to provide for them – and with a good deal of yuans to please her sister. Azula had complimented Kiyi for her work, and the young girl’s cheeks had grown hot with shame. She lied to a nice person, and Mom always said that you should always tell the truth. 

Somehow, Kiyi doesn’t think that her big sister ever took that lesson to heart. It’s as if she’s meant to lose everything her parents taught her and take on these new rules. Azula asks her if she would rather be homeless again.

This financial boost certainly means that Azula doesn’t have to engage in manual labor for a few coins. Azula does not mind working, per se; she engaged actively in most of her past plans, not trusting anyone else to pull off her ingenious schemes. However, any menial job here would be far too undignified for someone of Azula’s skill.

The house is small, with a simple kitchen, living area, and a single bedroom. They sleep on separate pads with their backs facing each other. For the first time in a long while, they both sleep soundly.

-

[The Past]

Kiyi rarely has true conversations with Azula. Once, she asked her big sister if she felt sorry for anything, and Azula admitted that she regretted the fact that her father had saved Zuko from drowning when she was young, and then Azula admitted that watching Zuko suffer throughout his life was amusing (though more trouble than it was worth, really).

They are sitting at the kitchen table when Kiyi says, “I need a new doll.”

Azula doesn’t lift her eyes away from the scroll she’s holding. “What's wrong with your old one?”

Kiyi narrows her eyes and glances dolefully at the headless doll on the wall shelf, then looks back at Azula and raises one brow pointedly. _I'm not weak. I'm not weak. I'm not weak._ She refuses to cry because her sister will make fun of her – tell her that she is pathetic, useless. They are sisters from different fathers and they look nothing alike. _Can’t cry. Can’t cry. No, no, no._

Azula says, “As I’ve said before – ” Kiyi rolls her eyes. “ – you have no need for such childish toys. When I was your age, I could have taken on a man twice my size.”

“I'm only five!”

Azula replies curtly, “And you’re lazy and spoiled.”

“You lived in a palace,” the petulant child says, her bottom lip protruding.

Azula puts down her scroll and orders Kiyi to follow her. The little girl groans. They go to an unpopulated grove. Kiyi has logs and stumps and tree trunks to hit and balance herself on. Azula only teaches the bare basics of chi-blocking. She says nothing of how it can stymy bending ( _how it feels like emptiness_ ).

There’s only brief talk of how it limits mobility, and most of what Azula teaches the girl is how to outmaneuver an opponent. Firebending techniques are often about exerting power and taking the offense, but that, of course, can grow tiresome. Azula never knew how to perform the chi-blocking skill as expertly as Ty Lee, and it infuriates her that such a dull-headed person could have a remarkable talent. Yes, remarkable, as much as she loathed to admit it. What had Ty Lee done besides suck up, cower, make stupid remarks, and become a traitor? Well, she’d been able to take down a force of trained earthbenders. 

_(She caught you off-guard and struck you down. Because she’s a coward, a coward. She was made to be subordinate to someone with a greater mind than her own. Then again, that describes everyone you’ve ever met. As oblivious as koala-sheep. Except Mother. She always saw – always knew.)_

-

One day, out of nowhere, Kiyi surges forward and jabs Azula’s left elbow. It’s the first sign of initiative she’s shown in awhile, and Azula does not know if she’s angered or impressed. As half of Azula’s left arm loses feeling, the firebender uses her knee to knock the girl back.

Kiyi falls in the dirt. She expects Azula to laugh at her or to be furious, but her big sister merely scowls, then her eyes have a faint trace of something akin to pride – if Azula can feel something so warm.

“Admittedly,” Azula says, “I’m impressed that you have any fight in you at all, but I’m here as your teacher, not as your enemy. I saved you from a life of having nothing.” She almost sounds conversational.

The young girl, this less refined version of Ursa, stands awkwardly. “My mom and dad loved me,” Kiyi argues, her hands balling into fists. _I liked that life. I want to go home. I want my mom and dad and big brother. I don’t want you._ Kiyi feels a bit guilty to let that type of resentment sting her heart; it seems that Azula must be used to that sentiment by now, but can anyone really blame Kiyi?

Azula tilts her head. “As I said, nothing.” Darkly, she adds, rubbing her limp arm, “Though it’s impressive that someone as clumsy and inexperienced as you can even attempt this, I doubt you'd ever want to try that again. I’ve fought and practiced long before you were even a traitorous idea in my mother’s mind.”

Kiyi’s eyes are sharp and judgmental. This is a child – just barely school-age, not even a decade on her since she could not talk, since she would have defecated on herself like an animal because she did not know otherwise. Because all infants are powerless and repulsive, and, Azula notes, little changes for many people as they grow.

Azula is free, and yet she is living with Ursa’s shadow. It’s a darkness that consumes like fire, but Azula will endure. She will last.

-

[Mirror Images]

It has never escaped her notice: Azula looks just like her father. Her hairline, her chin, her eyes, her nose, her mouth – it's all Ozai. Ozai, the man Ursa claimed had threatened her, had taken away everything from her past that had made her happy.

And here Kiyi is, her mother's darling little replacement daughter who has no trace of Ozai in her, who is every bit Ursa's daughter. Sweet, gentle. A product of love, not enmity. Someone born from willing affection, not entrapment and a forced sense of duty. A simpering, soft-faced little girl who loves dolls and can't (won’t) burn them to a crisp.

When Azula first laid eyes on Kiyi with the knowledge that she was her half-sister ( _she's trying to kill me, destroy me, take every trace and replace it with this perfect little child who knows nothing, nothing_ ), she knew that she’d either break or kill this child. However, dead accomplices are useless, lacking potential for anything besides acting as fertilizer.

She recalls how well Kiyi and Zuko got along. _Oh, I'm sure he was more than happy to embrace you – his new little sister who is all smiles and vapid stupidity. You'd get along, and he can forget all about me, go back to his throne and lock me up._

(Kiyi is a small, innocent shadow of her mother, and Azula couldn't wait to steal her away and corrupt every last trace. For her mother to see two monsters, to know that Azula has won. All of those who had humiliated her would be driven to their knees and they'd have to _see_.)

Azula – firebending prodigy and the person who should be the rightful heir to the throne – does not lose. She may wait, may disappear, but she will never give up.

Kiyi asks for a doll again, and Azula asks, “Why should I indulge you?”

“It makes me happy,” Kiyi explains simply. 

Unimpressed, Azula crosses her arms. “And?”

“If I'm happy, I won't tell.” Oh, so the child thinks she can threaten Azula now?

Azula’s eyes darken. “You think I’m scared of these _peasants_? I drove the Earth Kingdom’s veteran generals to their knees as their world crumbled before them. I would have gone to the skies and sacked the villages of the Earth Kingdom swine and let their homes go to ash, have them scream as they watched their children burn. I would have laughed at that victory, and you think I’m scared of these crude, illiterate, slack-jawed cretins who aren’t worth the air they breathe?”

It unnerves her that this child has a look – a look that is wholly her – their mother's. A look that knows. Well, Azula _had_ wanted the child to gain some sense, and yet it was like her mother had followed her here, still conspiring. Logically, Azula tells herself that Ursa is far away. _No, she isn’t here. She’s mourning her missing child._ Azula smiles.

“I could tell the tough girl with white eyes,” Kiyi says.

Azula waves her hand dismissively. “And I could kill her without flinching. There was once a ship captain who was responsible for my brother and uncle escaping, and my crew had to dump his charred corpse overboard.”

Kiyi doesn’t understand how Azula can just say things like that – talk about killing others like it’s nothing. _Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry._ “She’s the Avatar’s friend – ”

“How many deaths are you willing to cause until you put me down? You know, she would have left you. You were nothing but a distraction to her. She gave you to me, and she’ll forget about you eventually.”

Kiyi sniffs and wipes her nose on her arm. Scrutinizing the girl, Azula lifts a corner of her mouth in disgust.


	5. Part Five

[Escape]

Kiyi wants her boots with the green dragonflies painted on them. She wants the smell of her mom's fresh noodles and the softness of her dad's beard on her cheek. She wants the plays with the Dragon Emperor and the Water Spirit.

It makes her big sister uncomfortable when she makes certain comments, when she does things her – _their_ – mother taught her. Any severe look from Kiyi makes her look years older, and Azula sees a ghost, a vision, and it’s almost enough to make her falter.

The young girl isn’t sure what she wants to happen to her big sister. She wishes they could live happily together, but she also wants to hear her parents’ voices again.

-

[Cleaning Up]

Kiyi stands on a stool and cleans the plates and cups. When Azula walks in, the girl halts and bows her head. A small part of the child hopes that shriveling and deflating will make her invisible to Azula or make the air eat her up.

Her voice stern, Azula says, “Quit washing the dishes for just one instant. They can wait. You aren’t a servant.”

“Are you gonna do them?” Kiyi asks meekly, turning to face her sister.

“Of course not,” Azula replies steadily. “You should simply cease until I no longer require your attention. I could always _hire_ a servant, if I wished.” The firebender sighs. Of course the child is weak. Both her parents are nonbenders.

_She’s of two powerful bloodlines. You both share a part of that blood. After Father taught you, he handed you over to Lo and Li -- both nonbenders -- for firebending training._

_She isn't even half of what I am. I'll change that – I’ll change that. I'll crush her and make something better. Something that can endure._

“We don’t have enough money for that,” Kiyi says, though she’s only reaching. She’s just scared that Azula’s idea of how to treat servants is anything like her idea of how to treat her family. “You need a job for that.”

Azula smirks. “Ah, yes. Well, get on that, will you?”

-

[The Storm]

Kiyi feels like she’s caught between a flood and a tornado, and she can either let the tornado sweep her away and strip the skin from her bones or drown. If she thinks for herself, Azula chastises her disobedience; if she remains docile, Azula gets even more agitated, and her big sister gives cold, demeaning looks that go straight through Kiyi’s heart. The younger girl wants approval – for her big sister with the blue fire to like her, to not be disappointed with every single action. 

More than anything, Kiyi needs the truth.

Why would her parents approve of this? No, Azula had lied. Just as she has taught Kiyi to lie as some sort of compulsion. Her big sister has stopped denying it, relying on Kiyi’s concern toward others to keep her in line. The girl nervously rubs her hands together and paces back and forth across the kitchen.

_They want me to be strong. No matter what, I have to be strong._

-

[A Happy Ending]

Azula tries to continue hardening the child with little success. The girl’s so concerned with making friends with animals or cleaning. Kiyi is, at her best, indignant and laughable in her attempts to best Azula. Granted, she’s certainly smarter than other children her age. Still, Azula has to take a worthless cause and sharpen her into a sturdy weapon.

The girl is so . . . domestic. She cleans and cleans. Ursa always stressed order, and Azula has always valued control, but . . . not this. This is a servant’s task. Azula had been a child prodigy. She had no time for minor annoyances. Why not teach Zuko how to do mundane housework? It wasn’t as if he spent his time being of use to anyone.

-

One evening, as her big sister is seated on the couch, Kiyi attempts to sit on Azula’s lap. If the girl had been anyone else, she’d be nursing a grievous wound – if Azula was of a more patient and generous mind that day.

Affronted, Azula pushes her away and stands. “What do you think you’re _doing_?”

“Mom lets me!” Kiyi protests defensively. Mom would brush her hair and hum a lullaby about two lovers. Mom smelled like flowers. Mom was everything _good_. Kiyi wants to know how to stop Azula’s fire, to stop the fear, but she doesn’t know what to say, what to do. Compassion seems to bounce flimsily off Azula’s internal armor. Kiyi wants -- she wants appreciation, comfort, hugs. Love.

Azula sits back down, her gaze laced with suspicion and aggravation. She speaks as if rehearsing lines, “I don’t want to hurt you. This doesn’t have to be as much as a nuisance as you’re making it. This is all your own doing.” The child thinks of her mom and dad and the plays.

Kiyi rushes for something to say. She blurts out, “Did Mom used to sing to you?”

Icily, Azula replies, “What sort of question is that?” Her big sisters taps the armrest with one finger, a sign that she’s growing more irritated by the second.

“She used to sing about dragons and spirits and people finding new homes.”

Her voice low, Azula says, “What would she know of dragons?”

“Is Zuko a dragon?” the young girl asks. Azula scrutinizes Kiyi. The girl’s resistance is an interesting feat, if not unsettling because of her resemblance to Ursa. She doesn’t explicitly cower; her expression is blank. It isn’t a dumb look, but a wall erected from caution.

Then, Azula scoffs. “Please. I fought and fought for what was rightfully mine, and I lost everything. Our brother isn’t as noble as he perceives himself to be.” Her eyes growing distant, Azula adds, “He isn’t as noble as everyone else perceives him to be. If you ever acted out of line, who’s to say he wouldn’t tuck you somewhere out of sight, where you aren’t even allowed to eat in peace because you’re force-fed every meal?”

“I – I’m not you.” Kiyi tenses, ready to jump back, but Azula smiles. It’s an empty, joyless expression.

“And so that’s where I belong – chained up and hidden from an incompetent world?” The question is not solely directed at Kiyi. It’s as if Azula is challenging the world since she has no allies.

Despite Azula’s harshness, everything in Kiyi wants to impress Azula and for her to not be so disdainful. At the same time, Kiyi understands what makes Azula nervous, and she has to walk a line. Where does her big sister belong? Kiyi doesn’t know, and she may never find out.

Abruptly, Kiyi asks, “Can I hug you?” The question catches Azula off-guard, but she quickly regains her composure.

“Try,” her big sister replies, “and I’ll burn both your hands off.”

Azula has said it herself: she needs Kiyi. She wants Kiyi to see their mom again. She won’t throw Kiyi away. She can hurl insults and threats, but they’re stuck together. Azula can’t train a sister with no hands or no life.

_“Your parents want me to teach you how to be strong. Think of it as an adventure.”_

The young girl steps forward as her big sister watches. This is Kiyi’s sister. Maybe if the girl acts her part just long enough, this will have a happy ending. It won’t be like that story with the girl and the dragon and the volcano. She’ll see her parents again, they’ll apologize, and Azula will magically begin to love her.

(Somehow, Kiyi doubts it.)

-

[The Divine Right]

Sometimes -- no, most times -- Azula laments that she’s surrounded by imbeciles. She should be happy; they’re easy fodder, aren’t they? Sadly, they’re stubborn koala-sheep, every single person.

She will not bend or submit. Some will say she should have stayed with Zuko, and maybe she could have settled for a lesser position with a fraction of power -- an adviser, perhaps.

Those people are fools. The thought of being on the sidelines and either having her fool of a brother take credit for her grand ideas or constantly ignore her for his insipid visions makes Azula want to spontaneously combust. She was born with far more power, far more talent. She is not an underling. Azula may not believe that the spirits control everything, but there is a natural order of things that designate that she is the superior one, the one meant to rule. 

If the simpletons can’t embrace that, then they are her enemies.

-

[Dreams]

Three years pass, and Kiyi waits. Her saviors never come on the backs of dragons or on a big flying bison. She trains, and Azula does not treat her with gratuitous cruelty (most of the time), but it is all very distant.

Azula sometimes goes out to an adjacent, overgrown field and goes through her fighting stances. When the village quiets down, she takes Kiyi with her to practice nonbending forms. Oftentimes, Kiyi comes back with bruises, and most of self-inflicted because of her own lack of knowledge toward how to handle herself in a perilous situation. Azula tells her that her learning curve is slightly more improved than Zuko’s. When Kiyi thanks her, Azula is smug.

By her eighth birthday, Kiyi can move fluidly, though she still gasps and pants. Azula says it’s good that she’s using her boundless energy for something useful. She already has a scar on one knee from where she scraped it. Hopefully it’ll fade one day. Fade like a bruise. Once, on a night when Kiyi mouthed off, Azula clutched her wrist tightly. _You know the consequences of disobeying me._

In time, Kiyi’s dreams go from pink to gray. She’s forbidden from sleeping with her doll, and sometimes Kiyi forgets that the headless, pitiful little thing is even there, and she wonders if her parents have forgotten her as well – even though she will never forget either of them. Ever.

Her days are sometimes clouded in fear, others in a heavy listlessness. When they train, Kiyi is able to dodge and use her small stature as an advantage. She isn’t much shorter than Azula. Kiyi’s moves are far from prowess, but it’s an improvement. In both real life and her dreams, the girl swerves away from blue flames. Azula is a merciless, relentless teacher.

Kiyi doesn’t want to be here. But she doesn’t want to hurt people, and she is so, so alone. Azula hates animals, calls them vermin, and Kiyi hardly spends time away from Azula. She is isolated from the other children. _Contrary to how you were raised, you have no time for peasants._ Those were Azula’s words, and Kiyi hesitates when she gets an idea that may give her freedom.

-

When Azula goes to the market early in the morning, Kiyi carefully takes a piece of parchment and a brush from the shelf, careful to leave everything looking as it has been. Over the three years, her big sister has taught her how to understand and write even more words, though Azula reads to her quickly and without interruption, having no patience for Kiyi’s lack of understanding.

Sitting on the floor of the bedroom, the girl stumbles over the basics, and she nearly begins to weep out of frustration. Kiyi breaks out in a sweat. There are thousands of characters that she hasn’t learned, and some seem to blend together. She is afraid that Azula will see her, and she’s ready to hide the letter under where she sleeps, smearing the ink all over the bottom of the bed pad.

The young girl decides to write a letter of thanks to Toph Beifong before realizing that a blind girl can’t read. Then, she guesses she can still send it and hope that someone will read it to her. She doesn’t have time to make a visit to the academy, and she’s hoping for an element of surprise. 

In her letter, Kiyi does not state the true identity of her big sister, and she invites the earthbender to the home. She bears down, even as her hand trembles.

She writes hastily and waits for the ink to dry on one side before she writes her address on the back. Then, she runs next door, and the neighbors let her borrow their messenger hawk. Out of breath, Kiyi returns home, and Azula comes back ten minutes later.

Tell them, Azula would say, and then she’d add a threat in. That kept making Kiyi hold back, and so she had waited. Kiyi has to wonder, in sheer, white terror, if she has made an awful mistake, but it is done.

Azula does not seem to expect anything when she returns and her young half-sister is mopping the kitchen floor, and Kiyi has to try and calm her heart.

(Azula always underestimates everyone.)

-

The next morning, they have a visitor. When Toph steps through the door, Kiyi calmly thanks her for coming.

“Hey, kiddo. So,” Toph says, “where’s your big sis?”

“She’s still asleep.”

Toph smiles. “Yeah, I can feel the vibrations.”

“You should come and see her,” Kiyi says lightly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I'm not sure if Kiyi being Zuko and Azula's half-sister because of strange spiritual amnesia antics will ever be proven true, but it was fun to play with, at least. For me, not for Kiyi . . .


End file.
